crowleyisyourking

The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can’t do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can’t. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you’ll have to square with that some day. And me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can’t bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So, can you sail under the command of a pirate, or can you not?

thecatholicbadwolf-whowaited
gaydiationpoisoning:

biokitty:

shannibal-cannibal:

pixyled:

segoli:

deerdem:

selkiesounds:

bogmoth:

I said “have a nice day!” to this old dude and apparently that’s not fucking good enough because he retrieved his wallet and from like a stack of 30 of these things pulled one out and gave it to me and said something like “I hope you reconsider your choices next time”

holy shit

This is the most self entitled shit i’ve seen all day

the phrase “my pleasure” is so fuckin weird and I don’t trust anyone who uses it unless they go all out and say it in a slow, moderately seductive voice and follow it up with a Lucille Bluth-esque wink

literally take a shit on him.

people who are always griping about propriety and “proper grammar” at all times do so because they actually have a condition where they were born with their heads so far up their asses that a personality never formed

If someone gave this to me at work I would stare at them as I threw it in the fucking trash where it belongs.

Holy shit, these prescriptivist types apparently don’t know how their own language works. “Have a nice day!” is not a command; it’s a shortened way to say the entire send-off, which is indeed “[I hope you] have a nice day!” English speakers cut off the subjects of sentences all the time, even when they aren’t commands. Is “Yes!” a command now? If you answer the question “do you want soup or sandwiches for dinner” with “Soup, please,” are you suddenly commanding someone to soup? Is soup a verb now? Why aren’t you complaining about the missing verbs there, buddy? Never correct someone ever again.

gaydiationpoisoning:

biokitty:

shannibal-cannibal:

pixyled:

segoli:

deerdem:

selkiesounds:

bogmoth:

I said “have a nice day!” to this old dude and apparently that’s not fucking good enough because he retrieved his wallet and from like a stack of 30 of these things pulled one out and gave it to me and said something like “I hope you reconsider your choices next time”

holy shit

This is the most self entitled shit i’ve seen all day

the phrase “my pleasure” is so fuckin weird and I don’t trust anyone who uses it unless they go all out and say it in a slow, moderately seductive voice and follow it up with a Lucille Bluth-esque wink

literally take a shit on him.

people who are always griping about propriety and “proper grammar” at all times do so because they actually have a condition where they were born with their heads so far up their asses that a personality never formed

If someone gave this to me at work I would stare at them as I threw it in the fucking trash where it belongs.

Holy shit, these prescriptivist types apparently don’t know how their own language works. “Have a nice day!” is not a command; it’s a shortened way to say the entire send-off, which is indeed “[I hope you] have a nice day!” English speakers cut off the subjects of sentences all the time, even when they aren’t commands. Is “Yes!” a command now? If you answer the question “do you want soup or sandwiches for dinner” with “Soup, please,” are you suddenly commanding someone to soup? Is soup a verb now? Why aren’t you complaining about the missing verbs there, buddy? Never correct someone ever again.